HOLY SHIT GUYS
MY FRIEND GOES TO SCHOOL OUT IN LA AND HE SAW ANNA KENDRICK AT CVS
AND THEN ANNA KENDRICK POSTED THIS ON TWITTER
I’M FUCKING DYING HOLY SHIT MY FRIEND GOT DISSED MY ANNA KENDRICK
Realizing you should have your phone permanently on “Do Not Disturb” mode because you never really want to pick up the phone anyway.
Agreed. Thank you for your support, and for recognizing that identity policing is not okay. I’m going to use this ask as my platform for a bit of a ramble.
This whole thing began with this anon, who wrote in looking for justification for identity policing. They felt that the asexual community should just be for the three main “types” of asexual - while not acknowledging that identity they were specifically policing (akiosexual) is actually a subset of gray-ace. Identity policing is not okay ever and I was honest in my response to that person about that.
I know some folks were not okay with this sentence: “Um… honestly? My advice is to suck it up and deal with it.” I’m not going to apologize for it, but I think we had a miscommunication about tone, which can be lost in text. I meant this in the tone I used with my tutoring students who came in with failed tests, confused as to why their effort didn’t get them an A. I would break the news to them that they have to study harder without being insulting, demeaning, or otherwise harsh - gentle, but honest. That’s the tone I was thinking in as I wrote that sentence, and I’m sorry it didn’t come across that way. But I stand behind those words.
I then had to go to work, worked for 9 hours, and then went to sleep, and consequently missed what came next. This was first.
Southie was far nicer than I would have been. That kind of identity policing is completely unacceptable and horrifying to find in our community. I am ashamed that someone like that considers themselves a part of our community - because that isn’t at all what this community is about. This community is about asexual, aromantic, asexual spectrum, and aromantic spectrum people. Hell, I’d even say sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed allosexual/alloromantic people are welcome here. Why?
Because allosexual/alloromantic spaces are hostile to all of us. They’re toxic spaces, full of erasure, invalidation, identity policing, bullying, hate, violence… not all spaces are, sure, but at the bare minimum, those spaces are uncomfortable and alienating. As such, we all need to have a space - and here it is. We all belong here. We don’t all have the same exact identities or the same experiences, and yet we all belong here - because someone else in the community will relate to you, will understand you, will support you.
This is not a place for the Unassailable Asexual or Gold Star Ace. This is a place for all of us.
Moreover, this acenon felt that we shouldn’t give advice to non-aces. So we shouldn’t help questioning people, or help allo partners who want to be respectful, or help curious potential allies, or help sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed allos who are confused… This notion of exclusion horrifies me. We should only help a narrow group of people who meet certain criteria? No. Apply that to any other kind of help - we should only feed starving people if they’re white. We should only support rape victims if they weren’t sexually active beforehand. We should only support immigrants if they can speak english fluently.
Discrimination in all its forms is ugly and shameful and we will not stand for it.
We then got this, and I am touched by and grateful for Southie’s response. And I have this to say - if you don’t like my bluntness, my honesty, my passionate defenses of the marginalized and hurt, my constant voice for the power to say no, and my intolerance for identity policing and discrimination, well… we don’t need your kind here either.
This is so great
do you ever wait the whole night till that special person to text you, so you can ignore them and pretend you don’t give a shit?